MEME: Anonymous Confessions

[afeastofthirst]

MEME MEME MEME MEME.

Tag your characters in. Other characters can respond to them with confessions and messages made anonymously, ranging from the silly to the solemn. They don't even need to be relevant to the original poster, if you wanna complicate things a step further. (Who among us hasn't had a stranger tell us way too much?) OP and others can then take a crack at guessing who's confessing to what.

If you'd prefer to use citysecrets, the login info can be found here. Feel free as well to just top level random secrets all on their own, rather than to a name. Go wild!

Comments

[fulcrum3]

…if there's more, always keep going

More time for me to take it in
to try to

[(Anonymous)]

Actually, I'm not sure there is more. Just needed something flippant to end with.

[fulcrum3]

I wish I had more to say

Thank you for telling me

I couldn't imagine losing you after only five days, so I can't… what you've been through… I never want you to again.

I wish I could help with those fears… I know ultimately I can't… but whatever I can, I'm here.

You have nothing to compete with and nothing to prove, against anyone in my past. I don't wish the past were present. I wish I'd known you all my life.

Yeah… I wish I could eliminate the danger. But I know that the universe is a killer and I can't guarantee forever. I can only repeat to myself and to you that I won't lose you to the fear of losing you. And as far as whatever is in my control, I'm not going the hell anywhere.

…I… appreciate that. I go back and forth on how I rationalize that past self. So it makes sense. But he's present whether we talk about him or not, so I'd rather we talk about him and own him than suppress talking and feel the cold of his ghost.

I hope any of that makes sense

[nextchance]

It does. Make sense.

It's all just about what I'd expect you to say, too. I know that's what you feel and I know you mean it. It's just hard to get it all out of my head sometimes. Or out of my mouth.

But I wish I'd known you all my life, too.

[fulcrum3]

I'm so glad you know

But I understand that feelings are what they are regardless

We can keep saying and knowing and hope it sinks in

I have some of those fears too
and some completely different ones

I'm afraid of hurting you
the way he did
and in other ways
I'm afraid things I've done mean I can't love
or I can but it won't matter if I can't be peaceful enough

I'm afraid of physically hurting you in my sleep
I'm afraid of emotionally hurting you if I can't get out of my own head
I'm afraid of being a weapon

I'm afraid you'll die or disappear
I'm afraid my fear of that puts too much pressure on you
if the only way of coping with that I can imagine is to follow you

I'm afraid that the intensity of what I feel is trauma-bonding or infatuation
or that in the absence of the Rebellion, I've shifted my need to believe and serve over to you
because if it faded, what a betrayal of you that would be

I'm afraid that ways I was unhappy in my marriage were all me after all and I may carry them through to you

I'm afraid of talking about my past too much and giving you the exact feelings you described

But I'm not afraid of describing my past and finding something you can't forgive, and that's remarkable

and I think sharing this was right
and that's remarkable too

[nextchance]

All right, well, I can only comment on the things I know, which are these:

If things we'd done, or seen, or been through, meant we couldn't love, we'd both be screwed, and even I'm not cynical enough to believe that. I know what I feel. I think you do, too. I also think... if I'm already worried about not being peaceful enough, maybe we'll balance each other out?

I'm still trying to figure out how to be more than just a weapon. It's all I was raised to be. I can't speak for you, but... If you need me to, and if you'll let me, maybe we can figure it out together.

The last thing you should be worried about is hurting me in your sleep. I'm a soldier, Cassian. I can take care of myself. I'm worried about what it might do to you if something like that happened. But instead I'll just ask again what you'd do if it was the other way around.

You aren't going to put too much pressure on me. What I told you back on Yavin is still true. I'm not a cause and I'm not absolution. But there's nothing you could do or say that would scare me off. I know it's not... the same, that you're not him, but I made that decision a long time ago.

[fulcrum3]

My life was a process of falling further down into the dark away from my humanity. Then we recognized our humanity in each other and took our hands and you let me step up beside you. I think together is exactly how we'll balance and figure it out.

If it were the other way around, I'd still want to sleep by your side, knowing I could stop any blows and not caring if I missed a few. It would be worth it.

There was a moment at Scarif when I looked at you and didn't see a general or a myth but a human I wished I could know. I'm so glad I get to now.

Whether it was "him" or "me", I'm so grateful we're navigating it together and that you're taking this next chance.

[nextchance]

I hope so. —I can't believe you've got me hoping for anything again.

See? That's exactly what I mean. Everything you just said to me, I would also say to you. No question, no hesitation. It would be worth it.

I think... more than anything, that's still what I want. For you to know me. For me to get to know you again, beyond the ways I already feel like I do.

I know I keep saying it. But I'm really glad you're here.

[fulcrum3]

It all goes both ways.

I've never felt lucky before. I do now.

[nextchance]

I felt lucky the first time. Now I feel more like... there's no way I could be this lucky. But I'm trying not to just sit around waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[fulcrum3]

Well, you never know — Kay could arrive.

[nextchance]

What do you think he'd have to say about all this?

[fulcrum3]

Oh skies…

If he could ever finish rattling off the infinitely long number of the odds against this place…

He'd insist I continue my relationship with you as being unprecedently good for my health. And recommend ways for me not to mess it up.

[nextchance]

Good for your health? I'm surprised, but I'll take it.

[fulcrum3]

Why surprised?

I know we shared dark things, but the happiness and calm are strong too.

And the company through the dark.

[nextchance]

You also followed me on what amounted to a suicide mission. Which involved probably three or four different things that would've killed you if the others hadn't. Not sure that would count as good for anyone's health.

[fulcrum3]

Fair point. He’d need some time to get used to the new situation.

[nextchance]

I can't believe I'm wondering about getting approval from a droid.

Please know if he ever winds up here, I will deny that.

[fulcrum3]

My lips are sealed.

…What a notion. This place gives that nothing else in my life did… That death actually isn't the end.