Ok. She has always loved him. When she was a child she loved him the way you love someone bigger than life. She thought he hung the stars. He was the most wonderful, most vibrant, most dynamic thing in the universe and she couldn't NOT love him. Especially because he was absent so much of the time so he wasn't around to let the reality of him break that spell. And also because he doted on her like mad. After the hedge maze she loved him differently. He was no longer this perfect ideal, but he was the sexual ideal. He was what sex meant to her. What it was to be a man, ya know? Fast forward to the demon possession and all the things the demon whispered to her and she came to see who he truly was, thus the "weak, foul, lustful, vainglorious man" thing. But she still loves him. She loves him in an adult way. Not the child's love she used to have for him. She loves him because he is all she has left in the world, really, and because she KNOWS him and because you don't stop loving a father when you've come to understand he is also just a man. But it's love, not like. She doesn't LIKE the man he is. But she loves him.
no subject
Ok. She has always loved him. When she was a child she loved him the way you love someone bigger than life. She thought he hung the stars. He was the most wonderful, most vibrant, most dynamic thing in the universe and she couldn't NOT love him. Especially because he was absent so much of the time so he wasn't around to let the reality of him break that spell. And also because he doted on her like mad. After the hedge maze she loved him differently. He was no longer this perfect ideal, but he was the sexual ideal. He was what sex meant to her. What it was to be a man, ya know? Fast forward to the demon possession and all the things the demon whispered to her and she came to see who he truly was, thus the "weak, foul, lustful, vainglorious man" thing. But she still loves him. She loves him in an adult way. Not the child's love she used to have for him. She loves him because he is all she has left in the world, really, and because she KNOWS him and because you don't stop loving a father when you've come to understand he is also just a man. But it's love, not like. She doesn't LIKE the man he is. But she loves him.
Does any of that make sense?