I'm a little scared to get married, not because I don't want to, but because I want to so much. I worry this will fly away too, and all the good things I've gathered here will leave me, you included — that if I'm too happy, I'll be punished for it and you'll be taken from me. I know it doesn't make sense, I know it's stupid, but I can't completely get rid of the idea. I don't think I will until it's all done and you're still at my side, maybe not even then.

This isn't very anonymous, but it doesn't feel worth mentioning normally because I know it's crazy. I'm trying not to be so crazy. It's still hard to believe I'm allowed the things I want.